Class 43: “The Marks of a Truly Educated Woman” (Part 4)

Today, we will continue our study titled, THE MARKS OF A TRULY EDUCATED WOMAN.

— Let’s Pray —

Allow me to begin with a quote from Abigail Adams. She said, “Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.”

Now, please pull out your text and your digital study guide or follow along on the screen. First, I will read a portion of the corresponding letter from the book, Letters to Young Black Women. Then we will proceed with this lesson:


10. An educated woman knows how to make both men and women feel at ease in her presence without losing respect.

11. An educated woman is disciplined and tough-minded.

12. An educated woman is discerning enough to say “no” to a man who doesn’t mean her any good.

Daughters and YBW, may I lovingly encourage you to be this kind of woman.


Now we will go through the next three of these traits in greater detail:

1. An educated woman knows how to make both men and women feel at ease in her presence without losing respect.

In the course of everyday life, you will meet new people, both men and women. At times, both of you may feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence — being ill at ease or nervous about making a decent impression. Being extra friendly in these types of situations is almost never the way to go. Going out of your way to be overly friendly or outgoing can actually make a person feel uncomfortable. It can also give the wrong impression. Being intentional about what you are communicating and what you are not communicating is always better. It takes conscious effort to make people feel important and valued. When you do this, you earn respect and that person will grow to see you as a person of integrity, one who is thoughtful, considerate, and confident.

2. An educated woman is disciplined and tough-minded.

One of the greatest battles you will fight in life is developing self-discipline. Discipline is choosing a controlled form of behavior; deciding to do something in a habitual way. It is easy to just act the way we feel and do things when they are only convenient. This is a sure way not to accomplish anything in life. Discipline in any area of life begins by setting a goal, knowing why a goal is important, planning for roadblocks and for how you will overcome them, and staying focused on what you need to do to reach your goal. It’s not that people have more discipline than others, but some people want to reach their goals more than others, and discipline helps them get there. It may seem like the people who are less disciplined have the most fun. That is not true. Here is what I know: the people who are the most disciplined have time on their hands to justify having good fun.

3. An educated woman is discerning enough to say “no” to a man who doesn’t mean her any good.

In general, women have a hard time saying no to most everything and everyone. A lot of this biologically is a coping mechanism that is learned from childhood. Girls are typically taught to be nice while boys are typically taught to be competitive. This learned behaviour carries over into manhood and womanhood where dating is more like a game — women are still trying to be nice and men just want to win. But we can’t blame biology. This unconsciously learned behaviour can be very much unlearned by making the right choices. Learning to say no is a lesson in safety and common sense. It is a mental and verbal choice. No is a boundary word. Learn to say no to men who mean you no good definitively and kindly. Don’t leave your no up for debate. You know the kind of squishy, hee-haw, mee-maw, weak, it’s-a-possibility, I-might-change-my-mind kind of no. When you learn to say no to the wrong men, God will open the door for you to say yes to the right one.

Anne Sullivan said, “People seldom see the halting and painful steps at which the most insignificant success is achieved.”

In our next class, we will begin a new study, “THE POWER OF READING”.



Now, like many of you, I grew up in a very religious and church-going family, and during that time, I often heard the phrase “Being Saved.” Now, much of what church people said “being saved” was back then especially, in my community, is wrong according to the Bible. I wrote an article about it titled “On ‘Being Saved’ in Black America” which is available for you to read free of charge on our website, Right now, I want to share with you very briefly what the Bible says “being saved” really is.

First, understand that you need to be saved because you are a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Second, understand that a horrible punishment — eternal Hell — awaits those who are not saved. In Matthew 25:41, Jesus Christ said that God will say to those who are not saved, “depart from me ye cursed into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

Third, realize that God loves you very much and wants to save you from Hell. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” If you want to be saved from Hell and be guaranteed a home in Heaven, simply believe in Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose from the dead for your sins, and then call upon Him in prayer and ask Him to save your soul. And believe me, He will.

Romans 10:9-13 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” That is the most important decision you will ever make.

God bless you and keep you until we meet for our next class.